19:30
Huxley:
Oh boy! We're home! My favorite! Oh, hi cat! My friend! Friend? (gunk!) Ohhh, look, the other human! Oh boy! And he's petting the cat! I want attention! I want attention! I want attention!
"Momma":
Huxley! Come inside! Huxley! Let the cat be! Huxley! Hi Gustavo, how was your day? Mine was good too, I did this... and that... and, Huxley! Come here! Huxley! Huxley! Huxley!
Gorky:
It had been a good afternoon, lots of exploring around the yards, watched many birds, chased critters to my heart's content. Then, when I was home hanging out, eating my food, in comes that bungling thing and its human. Again, the thing comes straight for my ass. Thankfully, its human was good enough to pick it up and hold it on its lap, to keep it from sticking its flat snout on my ass. And as the humans sit on the couch to talk, I just naturally and normally climb up to my human's lap to get my due dose of petting, and the silly pug just keeps staring me down and whining and whimpering! There is no other explanation, it must be retarded... I mean, it was fully embraced by its own human, and kept complaining with jealousy! I was glad my human couldn't put up with all that ungainly gawking and whining and snorting and yelling either. We both pretty quickly took off to do our own business elsewhere in our territory. Well, I'm not really sure what he did, moving food back and forth around the kitchen for a while before sitting down to eat it. I just sat on the table and cleaned myself away from that thing. Funny how it suddenly forgets what it doesn't see...
terça-feira, 10 de maio de 2011
Of poop and poop
8:00 am
Gorky:
(Streeeeeeeetch!)
Ahh... It was still so early in the morning and my human left, didn't even make time to eat his food. At least he gave me my own food. I was still groggy, sleepy, eating my breakfast, when I hear that pug bumbling around and snorting upstairs. Hunf. As usual, I tried not to pay much attention to it. Today looks sunny, it will be a good day to stretch in the driveway, sunbathe for a while before I start chasing around some bugs or squirrels, or go see the cats around the neighborhood. It will be a good, good day...
8:30 am
Huxley:
Ugh? ah? Oh boy! Oh boy! It's morning! My favorite! Where did momma go? Oh boy! That door that was closed for a long time is open now! Oh boy! Oh boy! (sniff sniff sniff) Hmmm, fluffy clothes on the floor! Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhh.. aaahhh!! Oh boy! That was a biiiiiig poop! My favorite! Oh, cat! Hi friend! Friend? (!) ai ai ai ai!!! Momma momma! Oh boy, we're going outside? Oh boy! Oh boy! My favorite!
Gorky:
*$#$%^ pug! I thought I heard its inept stumbling noises into my room! And indeed, when I get upstairs to check it out, there he is! Taking a huge *$#$%^ dump right there in MY territory! And the idiot just kept sniffing its own shit while I stared him down with rage. When it noticed me, it came up with its squished up face directly for my butt. "Come one stumble closer and I'll scratch the ugly off your snout, *$#$%^ pug!" Ha! Teach it a lesson not to intrude in my territory again! But what about that big turd it left right there? Only thing to do is to assert my own territoriality over and above it. And this time, I won't just mark it with my pee, I'll even try to out-do him with my own poop! (shhhhhhhh..... hhhhmgh!) Awww... how can that pug be barely my size but poop three times as much?! At least there's plenty of pee here to scent up the entire room. (!) But I better rush out now that its human is leaving the house too, otherwise, no sunbathing for me! Swooooosh past that pug it didn't even see what happened! Fool.
Gorky:
(Streeeeeeeetch!)
Ahh... It was still so early in the morning and my human left, didn't even make time to eat his food. At least he gave me my own food. I was still groggy, sleepy, eating my breakfast, when I hear that pug bumbling around and snorting upstairs. Hunf. As usual, I tried not to pay much attention to it. Today looks sunny, it will be a good day to stretch in the driveway, sunbathe for a while before I start chasing around some bugs or squirrels, or go see the cats around the neighborhood. It will be a good, good day...
8:30 am
Huxley:
Ugh? ah? Oh boy! Oh boy! It's morning! My favorite! Where did momma go? Oh boy! That door that was closed for a long time is open now! Oh boy! Oh boy! (sniff sniff sniff) Hmmm, fluffy clothes on the floor! Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhh.. aaahhh!! Oh boy! That was a biiiiiig poop! My favorite! Oh, cat! Hi friend! Friend? (!) ai ai ai ai!!! Momma momma! Oh boy, we're going outside? Oh boy! Oh boy! My favorite!
Gorky:
*$#$%^ pug! I thought I heard its inept stumbling noises into my room! And indeed, when I get upstairs to check it out, there he is! Taking a huge *$#$%^ dump right there in MY territory! And the idiot just kept sniffing its own shit while I stared him down with rage. When it noticed me, it came up with its squished up face directly for my butt. "Come one stumble closer and I'll scratch the ugly off your snout, *$#$%^ pug!" Ha! Teach it a lesson not to intrude in my territory again! But what about that big turd it left right there? Only thing to do is to assert my own territoriality over and above it. And this time, I won't just mark it with my pee, I'll even try to out-do him with my own poop! (shhhhhhhh..... hhhhmgh!) Awww... how can that pug be barely my size but poop three times as much?! At least there's plenty of pee here to scent up the entire room. (!) But I better rush out now that its human is leaving the house too, otherwise, no sunbathing for me! Swooooosh past that pug it didn't even see what happened! Fool.
sexta-feira, 22 de abril de 2011
I'm hungry! Food food food food!
3:00 pm
Huxley:
Oh boy, letting me out of the car! We're home! My favorite! We're home! Oh boy! Hi cat! Hi cat! Inside! My favorite! Food! Food! Oh boy! nham nham nham!
Gorky:
I knew that human would bring the pug back with her! Rrrhewww... Yeah, I heard her calling me in too, and I was already quite hungry, but there was no way I would tag along with that pug! The thing was already coming up to my ass again! I'll just stay out here until my own human comes back home to feed me. There's plenty to look at out here, at least, and on top of that I get to stroll past the windows of all those other fat cats, arrested inside their human's houses, barely know the gardens and backyards and all! Oh look over there, a squirrel! Shhhh...!
6:15 pm
Gorky:
My human!!! I'm hungry! What took you so long? I have been here waiting, and...
Huxley:
Door! Oh boy! Oh boy! CAT! My favorite! What do youuuuu have going on? Oh boy! Food! Food! My favorite! (glunk.) awwwww... walk!? Oh boy! My favorite! Oh boy! Oh boy!
Gorky:
(!) Damn pug, I almost ran into its squished up mug! I was already turning back around, the pug coming out all after my ass again, and its human picked it up and brought it inside. Hunf, with my own human here now I went in and asked him to serve my own food! And of course, the damn pug thinks its for him! *$#$%^ pug. At least its human picked it up and took it away. Ah, if only I could have this peace and quiet all the time again, get pet, clean myself, get some attention... purrr.. purrrr... might even take a nap.
Huxley:
Oh boy, letting me out of the car! We're home! My favorite! We're home! Oh boy! Hi cat! Hi cat! Inside! My favorite! Food! Food! Oh boy! nham nham nham!
Gorky:
I knew that human would bring the pug back with her! Rrrhewww... Yeah, I heard her calling me in too, and I was already quite hungry, but there was no way I would tag along with that pug! The thing was already coming up to my ass again! I'll just stay out here until my own human comes back home to feed me. There's plenty to look at out here, at least, and on top of that I get to stroll past the windows of all those other fat cats, arrested inside their human's houses, barely know the gardens and backyards and all! Oh look over there, a squirrel! Shhhh...!
6:15 pm
Gorky:
My human!!! I'm hungry! What took you so long? I have been here waiting, and...
Huxley:
Door! Oh boy! Oh boy! CAT! My favorite! What do youuuuu have going on? Oh boy! Food! Food! My favorite! (glunk.) awwwww... walk!? Oh boy! My favorite! Oh boy! Oh boy!
Gorky:
(!) Damn pug, I almost ran into its squished up mug! I was already turning back around, the pug coming out all after my ass again, and its human picked it up and brought it inside. Hunf, with my own human here now I went in and asked him to serve my own food! And of course, the damn pug thinks its for him! *$#$%^ pug. At least its human picked it up and took it away. Ah, if only I could have this peace and quiet all the time again, get pet, clean myself, get some attention... purrr.. purrrr... might even take a nap.
First entry...
Gorky Behemoth and Huxley:
A cat-and-dog diary
7:30 am
Gorky Behemoth:
I woke up and woke up my human, after having a good amount of petting he went to stand under the shower. I took advantage of the moment to mark my territory on the carpet in the bedroom before the pug came out of the other human’s room.
8:30 am
Huxley:
Oh boy! Waking up with mom! Let’s play! Let’s play! Outside?! My favorite! Food! Food! My favorite! Oh boy!
Gorky Behemoth:
My human is clearly unwilling to side with me against this obnoxious pug, smacked me and took the marked carpet immediately away. Nevertheless, he fed me and even shared some milk too, so I recognize he still loves me but, for some unknown reason, still wants us to share our territory with this pug. Thankfully, my food was placed above the counter and I was able to eat in peace while the pug stupidly licked the floor searching for my food.
9:00 am
Huxley:
Oh boy! The cat my friend! What do youuu have going on? Eh? Eh? Oh boy! Petting, my favorite! Oh boy! Oh boy, car, my favorite!
Gorky Behemoth:
Minding my own business, up comes this pug and starts smelling my ass yet again! “Get away from my ass, you stupid pug!”, I say, but the pug is clearly too retarded to understand anything other than simple indications for “food” and “outside”. Thankfully, the other human who favors the pug soon took it away from our territory with her. I am beginning to suspect she will bring it back with her yet again… I guess leaving some poop on my human’s bed the other day alongside with marking my territory there was not enough to convince him that this pug has already encroached too much upon our lebensraum. I sat at the windowsill the rest of the morning, must conceive of another strategy before long.
A cat-and-dog diary
7:30 am
Gorky Behemoth:
I woke up and woke up my human, after having a good amount of petting he went to stand under the shower. I took advantage of the moment to mark my territory on the carpet in the bedroom before the pug came out of the other human’s room.
8:30 am
Huxley:
Oh boy! Waking up with mom! Let’s play! Let’s play! Outside?! My favorite! Food! Food! My favorite! Oh boy!
Gorky Behemoth:
My human is clearly unwilling to side with me against this obnoxious pug, smacked me and took the marked carpet immediately away. Nevertheless, he fed me and even shared some milk too, so I recognize he still loves me but, for some unknown reason, still wants us to share our territory with this pug. Thankfully, my food was placed above the counter and I was able to eat in peace while the pug stupidly licked the floor searching for my food.
9:00 am
Huxley:
Oh boy! The cat my friend! What do youuu have going on? Eh? Eh? Oh boy! Petting, my favorite! Oh boy! Oh boy, car, my favorite!
Gorky Behemoth:
Minding my own business, up comes this pug and starts smelling my ass yet again! “Get away from my ass, you stupid pug!”, I say, but the pug is clearly too retarded to understand anything other than simple indications for “food” and “outside”. Thankfully, the other human who favors the pug soon took it away from our territory with her. I am beginning to suspect she will bring it back with her yet again… I guess leaving some poop on my human’s bed the other day alongside with marking my territory there was not enough to convince him that this pug has already encroached too much upon our lebensraum. I sat at the windowsill the rest of the morning, must conceive of another strategy before long.
Assinar:
Postagens (Atom)